Desolation (n):
1. a state of complete emptiness or destruction.
2. great unhappiness or loneliness.

Is it the enemy? Is it the evil one taking control? Am I listening to what the world is telling me to do instead of following what God's will is? When did I even allow myself to fall into this state... Whatever it is called?

So many questions. No answers.

Lately, it seems everything is passing in a blur, and in annoying me to no end. I lost the joy, there's a constant burden upon my shoulders. I tell, I rant, I complain. To me, it's not something that I can have the strength to hold onto. And yet when I confess, it seems so minor.

Just like how everything currently is.

I'm like a spiral, one that goes deeper and deeper into the abyss of nothingness. And yet, I surge on. I don't know what is my purpose, I don't know if this is even the correct path that I'm walking. I don't even know where does the path that I am currently walking lead to.

You... and the rest.

I wish you would stop. Can't you just respect my decision this once? Being, I can't fathom why. Making the decision, confuses me. Saying, I feel like I'm living a lie. Stop making me do things that I don't want to do! And yet, it gets repeated constantly..., just by different people.

You.

I don't know what changed. That is all I have to say. You will find me the same, I'd like to hope.