To be honest, I would really like to say I'm content now.

After giving up, I felt way much better. It wasn't easy, and it took a whole lot of courage... To move on, to take the next step. However, it was a truly good experience that I took part in, and I do not regret any thing that had occurred during those times. True though, that sometimes when I reminisce about those long and dull periods, I will wonder why did I even make those mistakes? But mistakes are definitely part of the crossroads of life and they will be memories that I cherish forever.

But at the same time though, I'm really reluctant to say that I'm content. About a year ago, I blogged how I was content and nothing could shake me. And then about a week later, I fell. It was actually pretty scary and shocking how easy it was. Tempted by the little things. Things that may seem insignificant in others, mattered. Having never gone through those feelings that was invoked, I was constantly touched. It was brand new, a fresh start.

Now, it is a fresh slate. If I choose to think about it, I will only get disappointed. I wish you all the best, and I promise that I will forgive myself one day. Because when I saw, like last week, there was anger in me, I admitted. After that, it became anger at myself. For being so trusting. For just trying out my luck. For allowing myself that one last time. That one last chance.

But, I digress.

I really hope, and I really pray, that this contentment will last. And that's all that I could ever ask for.